Peaceful, positive birth.

Peaceful, painless, fun, wonderful, empowering, calm, good for baby as well as for mom . . . the list goes on and on. I asked the couples in my prenatal class to tell me what words they would use to describe a dream birth experience for themselves and this is, in part, what they offered to me.

We spent some time talking about why achieving a great birth without trauma, fear, danger, risk, excruciating pain is more common and easy than many people think. And then we went on to discuss what these moms (and their partners) need in order to create such an experience.

Where does the fear and negative expectation come from? Well, I have written here before about the reality that many a-birth story is embellished for effect and that there isn’t any humour or “drama” in watching the way birth usually unfolds on the big or small screen. We have been programmed to believe that birth is horrifying and yet, once we find ourselves pregnant or decide we want to expand our family, there are very few options around it.

The primary means to find your way to positive and exceptional birth experience, from what I have witnessed over the last ten years of attending births, is to do what you need to do to eliminate or, at the very least, reduce your fears about the process. Most people have a considerable amount of faith in an immeasurable number of entities, processes, procedures and histories but what they lack is the fundamental, base belief that their body can birth a baby.

Caesarean rates, epidural numbers as well as the use of other invasive techniques and strategies visited upon expectant and labouring women is considerably higher than all of the “overseeing” medical communities recommend and yet we see no reduction in their use. If anything, we see their numbers continue to soar.

It can be difficult for a pregnant woman to believe her body is designed to bring forth life if those caring for her don’t even think it possible or likely. And let’s not forget that a considerable number of these care providers don’t know how to help mom have a straightforward, unmedicated, unencumbered birth experience.

I have yet to be in the room of a labouring woman to hear her obstetrician recommend that she get out of the bed, get up on her feet, lean forward with each contraction, sway her hips from side-to-side and relax. I am certain that there MUST be obstetricians who DO provide such care but I have not yet met them.

So, how do we reduce our fears about the process beyond finding care that supports us and acknowledges, “we can do this?” (Admittedly this is not an easy goal to achieve depending on the types of care offered in various areas, cost of said care and the overall practice structures set in place wherever we are birthing.)

Gather as much positive information about the birth process as you possibly can. Read books that support the reality that you can birth the way you truly want to birth. Some excellent examples of fabulous books include a newly revised Canadian beacon of birth hope: “Pregnancy and Birth: a Guide to Making Decisions That Are Right for You and Your Baby, 2nd Ed.” by Teresa Pitman and Joyce Barrett. Or seek out suggestions offered by Ann Douglas in: “The Mother of All Pregnancy Books,” another Canadian gem. More than that there are tonnes of resources available at Parentbooks – a wonderful bricks and mortar store in Toronto with a great on-line purchasing department.

Don’t forget your local library also. My biggest point here is that while virtually all of the most common books out there are negative in their approach, usually very subtly, there is a vast selection that focus on nothing more than helping you make your birth-day the very BEST day of your life.

Who you invite to your birth is another way to help you reduce your fears about the journey. Do not ask (or allow) your mother, mother-in-law, sister or best friend in with you if they can’t support you 100% and believe, unequivocally, in your ability to birth your baby. If you don’t feel you can be naked in front of them, swear while they are within earshot or moan without them trying to quiet you then they probably the best people to have at your side offering suggestions of ways to make the journey more pleasurable for you.

YES, I said pleasurable! There are an immeasurable number of women who have actually loved giving birth to their babies. I am one of them. I LOVED feeling my son slip from my body. I LOVED the power I felt about my body being able to carry a child and then physically manoeuvre him through my bone structures to ready him for life on the outside of my body.

This post isn’t about coping through labour. That comes next. This is simply a reminder that you can do this and that you need to believe that you can. Whatever you need to do to create the environment around yourself which actually allows you to BELIEVE you can do it is how you need to begin. Strategies come after that.

I hope to have time this weekend to write up a post about the use of epidurals (usually a potentially dangerous or sabotaging way to labour although necessary from time to rare time) and some thoughts presented by Dr. Christiane Northrup, M.D. on the way medications will impede the ability of a mother to birth her baby. These thoughts are voiced by Dr. Northrup in the 2008 movie: “Orgasmic Birth.” If you haven’t watched this empowering movie, then what are you waiting for. You need to see it!

Posted by Sam