Why Moms Have A Hard Time Asking For Help (and feel guilty about needing it)

Sadly his call to me is not the first of it’s kind that I have received. Nor are his words new to me; “her warm, loving, giving, excited and enthusiastic character were part of what drew me to her and what I fell in love with. Now she seems so unhappy and angry so much of the time. What can I do?”

Her email to me letting me know that she doesn’t know where the anger, sadness, or despondency comes from isn’t new either. She feels as though she can't keep it all together, to do everything that needs to be done and do it well. AND she feels an overwhelming guilt for harbouring any emotions other than love and understanding for this new life path she is on. Often she remarks that she doesn’t know where she should be going to get the help that she knows she needs.

Where do these feelings of guilt come from? And WHY, when we have brand new infants, are we so afraid to ask for help?

I asked these questions of my friends and followers on both Facebook and Twitter (always amazing for rapid survey responses) and received a considerable number of replies almost immediately! Now, let me preface this by saying that I have received feedback suggesting these feelings of guilt and inability to ask for help are not limited to mothers but, for the sake of this article, that is where my focus will be.

WHERE DO THEY FEELINGS OF MOTHER-GUILT COME FROM?

I think @J. Smerek summed it up beautifully. She wrote: “it appears that Angelina Jolie, Gwen Stefani and I like to plan pregnancies at the same time. It’s hard to be constantly faced with images of people in a similar situation as you but they look perfectly put together while you’re in dirty jammies. Everywhere is filled with images and expectations that now you’re a mom so you can do it all with a smile on your face. Other moms I know always act like everything is prefect. While I know it’s not I can't help but feel like some kind of failure if I can't do it all by myself.”

We are constantly bombarded with images of “celebrity” moms who don’t even look as though they have had a baby even when it has only been a couple of months since they gave birth. These moms appearing on “talk shows” and in other media looking as though they are ready for a photo shoot create an illusion that it is possible to “have your cake and eat it too!”

When we don’t LOVE this new world, the demands placed upon us, we feel guilty. When we know we aren’t coping well with keeping everything running smoothly we get the impression that we are the only new moms feeling this way.

I had another wonderful response from @R. Purdy. Her thoughts were: “I too think that the media is partly to blame. "Perfectly groomed Moms with perfectly behaved children in perfect homes are the norm in so many movies/programs that we've become brainwashed into thinking we too must achieve such a false portrait of motherhood. I also think our modern society forces us into an isolation that makes it difficult to live without the "tribes" that would make asking for help easier...” Her response segues nicely into the second of my two questions.

WHY ARE NEW MOMS SO AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP?

@natmomluvsprada’s thoughts were bang on in my opinion. She raises a point that I think we totally forget in our work-a-day, solitary worlds. Those who were once able to count of the proximity of their extended family to help with babies and toddlers are now “working longer and live farther away.”

When we DO ask for help then we know we are inconveniencing those we are asking so we refrain from doing so and try our best to “suck it up.” This coupled with the reality that we used to be able to do it all when we were still in the corporate world creates the sensation that there must be something wrong with us.

We don’t have any basis to know that our experiences are normal. This is why @C. Quinlan thinks moms “don't ask for help - they don't know that what they're going through is *normal*. After all, who wants to admit to being a 'failure' (which is what a lot of moms feel like with these things). You're "supposed to" be happy and in control and loving this new little person, not feeling overwhelmed and stressed and worried, which is what a lot of mom's feel.”

@R. Cross who, like me, is a Childbirth Educator in the Toronto area reminds me that “we DO talk about it - childless folk just don't understand (or think we're disorganized etc) until they get there themselves.” It is sadly true that it's IMPOSSIBLE to know until you are there.

I have a similar thought process when I teach my classes. I provide no fewer than three pages of phone numbers, web site addresses and support networks to the couples who attend my classes but I wonder how many of them go back and read that information after their babies are born and they are looking to find some kind of help or support network.

There is little that is more frustrating, when you are pregnant, then having to listen to someone with children tell you, “once you have a baby YOU’LL see” or “you just can’t see it now but once your baby comes . . .” Of course someone without babies can’t expect to know what having one is like, but isn’t that why we, who DO have children, should be making every effort to offer to help out?

It doesn’t do any good to say, “no one helped me and I did just fine.” Remember those days you felt as though you would fall asleep at the wheel when you stopped for a red light? Or the afternoon you pushed the stroller down the street talking to yourself for a little company? Or that week you had scrambled eggs and baked beans for dinner four times in a row because you didn’t get a chance to get to the grocery store?

Many of my parents’ generation grew up within a small community. They learned how to parent their babies by having many of their own family members nearby. Extended family members and close friends stepped in when our moms needed to run to the store. They went with her when she needed to visit the doctor. They rocked her babies when her arms were full of laundry. They shared dinners and leftovers every Sunday night. We, as babies, knew we could turn to an aunt or grandma or grandpa or neighbour if we needed someone and our parents weren’t immediately available. Then we grew up and, often for the sake of employment, we moved away.

I think @E.H. said it absolutely perfectly. She writes exactly what I felt in my own heart when my eldest was born. “I felt I should somehow have known intrinsically how to be a mother and meet the needs of my child. There was a fear that if I asked for help, I would lose her.”

When we wait so long to have our children, be it in terms of years or simply the length of the pregnancy, we are terrified that something might go wrong and our dreams of parenting will slip away. We want to be the whole community of people rolled into one parent.

@E.H. also wrote: “we often repeat the lessons of generations of mothers and those who reach out and ask for help are, unfortunately viewed as lacking in some mystical maternal knowledge.” I think this statement is particularly insightful and yet it makes me wonder if it is something slightly more than being this simple. What if the reason that our previous generations didn’t “reach out and ask for help” was simply because they didn’t have to? To hear older generations of women from smaller, farming-type communities talk, they just assumed they would step in when a family in the area had a new baby. It was a given. If we haven’t witnessed this behaviour ourselves, as we move through the evolution into parenthood, how can we know this is what we need?

NEXT TIME: Where to go to get the help! (Feedback and thoughts on this idea are welcome and encouraged either here, by email: sam AT babyREADY DOT ca or DM me @babyREADY on Twitter)

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO COMMENTED ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK! YOUR REPLIES (EVEN IF I DIDN'T QUOTE YOU HERE) PROVIDED ME WITH THE DIRECTION I WAS LOOKING FOR WHEN WANTING TO WRITE THIS PIECE! THANKS AGAIN!

Posted by Sam

PS – Something must be in the air this week. There are several posts about this kind of a topic floating around the blogosphere these days. One of my favourite parenting blog authors is PhD In Parenting. Today she wrote “It Takes A Village to Raise A Child”. In the comments section of PhD In Parenting's post, Rosanna wrote that she has wrote something similar last wek, so here is the link to her thoughts with an “It Takes A Village” title too.

Shameless self-promotion

A couple of weeks ago I was surprised to find a DM from D. Cole in my "Direct Messages" Tweetdeck column. She was asking if I would be willing to be interviewed for an article she was writing. It is a bi-weekly article she posts on the "Shameless Magazine" website. Each of her interviews begins with the following statement: "Every other Thursday I profile a new incredible woman, each from a different walk of life. Different professions, causes, backgrounds, ethnicities, orientations, and anything/everything else!"

With an intro like that you can't be surprised that I was feeling very humbled by having even been considered for such a write-up.

For those who are not familiar with Shameless Magazine you should know that they are "Canada’s independent voice for smart, strong, sassy young women." One look through their online mag and you will see that it is "a fresh alternative to typical teen magazines, for girls who know there’s more to life than makeup and diet tips. Packed with articles about arts, culture and current events, Shameless reaches out to readers who are often ignored by mainstream media: freethinkers, queer youth, young women of colour, punk rockers, feminists, intellectuals, artists, activists — people just like you! We tackle teen life with wit and wisdom."

As I said, it was an honour to be asked to participate in the interview and to have my voice heard with so many other amazing womyn!

Do Ultrasounds "Just For Fun" Carry Risks?

I think that the reality is that there hasn't been enough research done to determine how harmful the new, fun 3D ultrasound "parties" people are having might be on the developing foetus. What we do know is that they are not recommended by the SOGC according to the Guidelines dated June 2005.

Their concern is that while "there have been no proven adverse biological effects associated with obstetric diagnostic ultrasound, one must be cognizant of the potential for an unidentified risk." They go on to write that "[e]pidemiologic research on ultrasound safety is limited." With this in mind, why would anyone choose to play with the possibility that it might harm their baby?

In some cases it is an effective tool to be used to indicate that further testing needs. The reality though is that very few women have anything beyond a general ultrasound (a Level 2 scan) in pregnancy until a potential health concern possibility presents and a care-provider determines that a Level 3 scan (which "uses a very expensive machine that is capable of picking up very slight changes and abnormalities in the fetus that cannot be detected on lesser machines") is required in order to be able to better prepare for the birth of the baby.

So, if many causes for concern are missed or not seen adequately with a general Level 2 scan, why have them? What do they tell us, other than placental location, that we NEED to know? Perhaps if there are multiples? Okay. Is it just that it is our brief moment in time where the skin over the belly doesn't feel quite so opaque? That, for a few minutes, we get to breathe a sigh of relief that it really is a baby in there and not the alien that it feels like? Okay again. I think it is important that we acknowledge exactly WHY we are consenting to having procedures done TO us.

"WHO [World Health Organization] strongly endorses the principle of informed choice with regard to technology use. The health-care providers have the moral responsibility: fully to inform the public about what is known and not known about ultrasound scanning during pregnancy; and fully to inform each woman prior to an ultrasound examination as to the clinical indication for ultrasound, its hoped-for benefit, its potential risk, and alternative available, if any."

Unfortunately there have been very few studies done to determine the potential long-term ramifications of the use of ultrasound technology during pregnancy on either the mother or the baby. There is hope that more research is coming and with the current shift in thinking in the US, away from allowing parents to participate in 3D scans just so they can see their baby, it wouldn't be a surprise if more information ended up available to Obstetric decision makers in the near future.

I don't want to suggest that all ultrasounds are bad and that no pregnant mom should experience one. I am surprised by those who have had three or four (plus the one they paid for) and who are asking me, in my classes, how many they should expect. Most moms should have no more than two; and only one if they are in a low-risk category.

These are just a couple of my thoughts and some links for those of you who are pregnant and are wondering about how safe these tools are!

BTW, the SOGC also says that "[o]bstetric ultrasound should NOT be used for non-medical reasons, such as sex determination, nonmedical photos or videos, or for commercial purposes." (emphasis mine)

Posted by Sam

Why Don't Babies Sleep Through The Night?

SLEEP . . . UGH! Alone as a parenting issue it is enough to make whimpering, burbling, sobbing heaps of the sanest adult. Why are we so fixated on making our baby sleep "through the night?"

Desperation. As I ask around, primarily through mom’s groups I attend, Twitter and Facebook, the response always comes back to the same thing: desperation. Sure, everyone wants to tell me why they “sleep trained” their baby (or didn’t) but what it always comes back to is their desperate need for sleep and their lack of understanding as to why babies wake frequently through the night.

I have talked about some of these in my recent posts, “The Most Common Call” and “SUDS/SIDS, Breastfeeding and More.” What we, as parents, need to recognize is why we place these expectations both on our babies and on ourselves.

Did you know that your baby will wake frequently during the night when they are getting ready to master a new skill? An infant who was previously sleeping soundly without any added encouragement from you will suddenly begin waking at regular intervals to practice various gross motor skills. It makes sense doesn’t it? That a child who does not yet have “object permanence” sorted out can’t go 8, 10 or 12 hours without waking up to make another attempt at rolling, sitting, crawling, pulling to stand or walking?

Are they doing it to frustrate you? No, of course not. You know that BUT you can’t help being upset because the balance you had been struggling to maintain each day was reliant upon, in large part, the unbroken sleep you had been achieving each night. NO ONE who is of sound mind wants to be awake in the middle of the night not even your baby. That’s just it though isn’t it? We aren’t rational at that time of day. We enter into the nursery, see baby sitting, lying or standing AND crying when they should be sleeping and we get irritated that they aren’t sleeping. We forget to acknowledge that this is a normal developmental milestone and that our babies will outgrow this new schedule as soon as the new skill has been mastered.

What about teething? Do you remember the endless need to put pressure on your swollen and inflamed gums as your wisdom teeth threatened to break through the surface of the skin? You KNEW that it was these teeth which were causing you discomfort and you did whatever you could to help alleviate the tenderness in your mouth. Imagine having teeth working to poke through the skin (and remember that those teeth are very sharp when they come through) while you are trying to get some shut-eye but not understanding WHY your mouth hurt so much.

These are only two of the potential reasons your baby will wake through the night. Look at other possibilities too. Do you have a neighbour whose driveway is on the side of the house where your baby’s room is? Is that neighbour now working midnights somewhere and coming or going through the night and their loud vehicle is disturbing the sleep cycles of your precious infant? Look at all of the possible variables and that will help to start you on the path to having the patience your baby needs at night.

Some days will certainly be better than others. I am sure you’ve seen some variation of the following scenario:

A woman enters. Carrying a small baby in a sling she walks up to a group of other mothers who are sitting in a circle and have their babies lying on receiving blankets on the floor in front of them. They have broken off their conversation to allow emotional and physical space for this new arrival and anything she may need to “unload” as she sits down.

She sighs as she divests her body of the diaper bag come suitcase, unfolds her own receiving blanket, unslings her baby, places him on the floor, unwinds her feet to surround him as he lays there looking up a her and begins, “Hey everyone, sorry we’re late. Little Jimmy is having a hard time napping and I am SO tired. I just wasn’t sure we were going to make it out today.”

Everyone with her nods understandingly and together they set off on a dissection of the sleeping patterns of new babies and the ways to get baby to sleep “better.”

We read this scene a little differently when we acknowledge that maybe “Little Jimmy” isn’t sleeping as soundly because he is working through teeth or the mastering of developmental milestones, right? It is not longer simply that he wasn’t able to sleep well.

We always seem to blame the baby. “He isn’t sleeping well.” “She won’t sleep through the night.” “He wakes up crying and seems to need me.” “She doesn’t really need to eat, she is just awake.”

When are we going to stop expecting our new children to act like mini-adults and give them time to mature gradually? Some babies sleep better than others. That’s a fact. Some have more needs during the night than others. That is also a fact.

Aren’t there adults who don’t sleep particularly well? Do you know someone who wakes at least once a night to pee, get a drink of water, because of a nightmare, or just because?? Why don’t we allow our babies the same opportunities? Our babies need our help to go back to sleep. They are brand new! They need our help to sit, eat, move around and get dressed. Why wouldn’t they require our help to sleep too?

What I hear from most everyone who has implemented some form of “sleep training” is that they feel they did it in order to be a better parent. I do understand that on some levels and I really don’t on others. If you are willing to approach it in such a fashion that the needs of EVERYONE involved are taken into account and given equal value then perhaps I can see how it would unfold. VERY few homes function as a “democracy” though and in all but the exceptionally rare cases parents make the decisions, not the children.

Now is not the time to debate the efficacy of a democratic home where everyone gets a vote. I have done that before. I simply want to investigate why parents want their babies to sleep “better” and without waking anyone else up.

I have always been and will always be of the opinion that every parent knows what is best for themselves and as long as respect is involved in the process then you will parent your child the way that works best for your family. I am not a fan of reading most “how-to” parenting books. Examples of books I have read that worry me with regard to some of the unsafe information shared include: “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect and Communicate With Your Baby,” all of the “On Becoming Baby Wise” books, and the whole “What to Expect” series. My concern with these books, other than the reality that some of their information can be downright dangerous is that they don’t recognize that all babies are different nor do they encourage parents to follow their hearts. If you have read my blog post about “The Most Common Call,” these are the very books I was referring to.

That said there are MANY out there, which give you a spectrum of suggestions from a variety of parents (young and old alike). I prefer this format mostly because it helps new parents with questions see that there aren’t any “right” ways to do anything. Books by William and Martha Sears or Ann Douglas have a variety of suggestions and opinions of strategies that have worked for others and which may work for you.

I have tried to take some time here to offer you a different way to look at the baby/parent sleep relationship so that you can begin to investigate what may be causing your infant to wake through the night. I have also tried to offer resources as to where you might learn more about deciding what you need to do in order to help your baby learn to sleep better.

We all know that there are an endless number of ways to get a baby to sleep. We all know that we, as adults, need sleep to survive and to function. This post wasn’t written to argue about which method is better. We come to that ourselves and each in our own way. I wanted to talk a little about what I think is the primary reason for WHY we feel so compelled to try anything short of standing on our heads to make our babies into “good sleepers.” My conclusion? Desperation . . . and fatigue! ;o)

A few sites to educate about "Object Permanence:"
http://thebrain.mcgill.ca/flash/i/i_09/i_09_p/i_09_p_dev/i_09_p_dev.html
http://www.kidsdevelopment.co.uk/ObjectPermanenceInfants.html
rhsroyals.nbed.nb.ca/staff/Beatty%20Psych/Chapter%20Notes/C11-P1.doc

Posted by Sam

Induction of Labour - why are we in such a hurry?

“When will this baby come??” Perhaps the most commonly asked question by pregnant women, especially those excitedly waiting for their first child to arrive. It is so hard to be patient when the shopping has been done, the picture-perfect nursery has been put together and the appointments have been attended.

Spontaneous labour starts when all of the right stars are in their proverbial alignment. This post is about non-spontaneous labour and the use of artificial means to encourage labour to begin and babies to be born. There have been many comments and discussions in the past about the safety, efficacy and necessity of using induction tools such as synthetic oxytocins or prostaglandins to artificially begin the childbirth process. Recently I have read two separate articles about induction; both with very different arguments for NOT putting a mother into labour unnaturally.

The first article I read was actually in the Globe and Mail on Wednesday, June 24th, 2009. It was titled: “Babies’ IQs suffer with fewer than 39 weeks in womb, study finds,” and it outlined some of the research of Dr. Michael Kramer of McGill University in Montreal. The findings of his which were the focus of the Globe article indicate that while babies are considered to be “full term” at 37 weeks gestation, perhaps there are small, but potentially significant advantages to the infant if gestation were able to continue beyond the 37 week mark.

The first advantage he notes relates to the research he and his associate, Seungmi Yang presented at a conference in California in June which refers to the slightly higher IQ rates of babies born at 40 weeks. His measurement was not significant in the overall intelligence of the child (1.7 points) however he notes that this wasn’t a small group they were studying (some 18,000 participants) and these were the resultant findings. These findings alone are enough to make a parent say, “hmm.”

Other research he has done, this time with collegue Xun Zhang, reflects the reality that the closer to 40 weeks gestation a foetus is at the time of birth, the greater the chance for the survival of that child. The article goes on to describe that these same children “also had an increased chance of neonatal seizures or other problems shortly after birth.”

Kramer acknowledges that there is “a low absolute risk of infant death at [37 – 39 weeks] gestational age.” Despite this however, “the risks were more than 50 percent higher at 37 weeks than at 40 weeks.” However, as worried expectant parents, wouldn’t we do everything we can to protect our unborn children from any potential harm that may befall them?

I will go on record here to remind you that I don’t think that most care providers are being reckless or are unnecessarily taking chances with our unborn children when they recommend inducing labour before 40 weeks gestation. In fact, I would argue that the most responsible midwives and obstetricians I have met have, in reality, gone out of their way to educate their expectant mothers about the value of baby gestating as long as the baby requires. Usually it is the moms-to-be who lack the patience to let their labours begin when it best suits both mother and baby. In my experience, when care providers suggest labour must be started artificially and early there is a strong medical reason for it.

This is just the first of the two articles I read though. Let me tell you a little about the second. It is more of a description of the circadian rhythms of the human body and how everything seems to line up surrounding birth. In fact the article was about the role oxytocin plays in the circadian cycles of mice and I won’t get into that here. What I want to highlight is from what Coturnix has written about the times of day when women go into labour.

He writes:

There are two aspects to timing of birth. The first one is the determination how long the pregnancy will last, i.e., on which day the birth will occur. The second one determines at what time of day the labor will start. The first is not dependent on the circadian clock (e.g., this is not affected by lesions to the suprachiasmatic nucleus, SCN), while the second one is determined by the circadian clock. In all mammals studied to date, there is a strong circadian control of the timing of birth, likely related to the safest time of day for that particular species. . . . I think I remember that majority of human births (especially in more primitive societies without artificial light, epidurals, Caesareans and induced labor) occurs somewhere around dawn.

He goes on to write, “the current understanding is that the first one - duration of pregnancy - is determined by the fetus, while the second one - time of day of labor - is determined by the mother.”

When we add this last statement into consideration with the findings of the research by Dr. Kramer then there appears to be even further evidence that the foetus would prefer to stay inside the womb until such a time presents that he or she is ready to be born. Sometimes it is simply information such as this, which helps an expectant mom dispel some of her anxieties over when the process will begin. Sometimes she is willing to step aside and let the baby decide.

Between you and your care provider you will determine what to take from research such as this. The point of me taking some time to put my thoughts out into the “blogosphere” is simply to offer you a few reminders as to why it is okay to stay pregnant a little while longer. I know the ankles get puffy, the hips hurt and the trips to the toilet are infuriating at times. Savour this time though. It won’t be long before you have to share your baby with several other people and this private and intimate relationship you and your baby have created will change forever. You **will** miss being pregnant. Don’t rush it to happen too soon.

Posted by Sam

Whether Or Not to Offer Vitamin D Supplements to Your Baby

Whether or not to offer a Vitamin D supplement to the breastfed baby is question that I am asked quite a lot. Now, many of you may already recognize that I am not one to encourage you to do anything with or for your baby simply because it was recommended to you by your doctor. I don’t disagree with everything a doctor says, quite the contrary, I think they have some amazing information at their fingertips and we are lucky that they avail said information to us when we need it. That said, I also think there are times when the word “guidelines” should be used instead of “recommendations.”

When it comes to Vitamin D deficiency in breastfed babies it seems most convenient simply to tell the parents to give the baby a supplement. What are the other options? Can a parent be deemed irresponsible if they forgo adding these drops to the baby’s daily diet? How is it possible that our breast milk, nature’s perfect human food, can possibly be deficient in an essential nutrient?

Our other (read: best) option is fairly simple. Go outside! Spend a little time with your face in the sun. I know, I know! Everywhere you turn these days you are warned about the risks of excess sun exposure. I am not suggesting that you spend a few eight-hour days lying back on the lounge chair with an aluminium tray under your chin to help aid in complete tan coverage (can you tell I was a teen in the 80’s?) but rather to temper your fear of the sun with a little respect for it’s healing and restorative powers.

For years we have been taught to cover-up and lather on the sunscreen. I am not trying to recommend in favour of excess sun exposure however, a little time spent “soaking up some rays” goes a long way to making a healthier baby and a healthier you! In order to reap the benefits of the UV-B absorption from the sun it is imperative not to be wearing sunscreen though and so you will need to read the labels of the bottles of face cream and other moisturizers you use to ensure you aren't accidently "covering up."

So what do the numbers say? In order to be able to provide an adequate amount of vitamin D in our breast milk (for an exclusively breastfed baby) we need to take approximately 3,000 - 4,000 IU/day. Our body absorbs the vitamin D best when the sun is higher in the sky. If we were outside and totally naked for the peak hours of high sunshine then studies suggest that we would be able to create 20,000 – 30,000 IU. Five percent body exposure (somewhat more realistic for most of us) can create 100-200 IU in a short time.

Usually no more than thirty minutes a day in the warmer months for a person with white skin (the pigment in darker skin tones acts as more of a block against the body being able to create vitamin D from the UV-B rays) would be sufficient to provide exactly what you need for the day. For some darker skinned moms you may need to increase that time by as much as four times. Certainly, if mom AND baby are outside then the amount of time for baby to get what s/he needs would be less because there would still be some coming through the breast milk.

Our body is able to stock pile the excess we create just as long as the source of the vitamin comes to us naturally. If you take extra supplement or drink too much Vitamin D fortified anything then you put yourself at an increased risk of nausea, fatigue, kidney stones, and more. If however, your excess stores come from natural sources, like the sun, they are able to be kept in your system for use when your body is getting low, like during the winter months when the sun is not as strong nor as high in the sky.

So, can a parent be deemed irresponsible if s/he decides not to give a baby the vitamin D drops as recommended by the **Canadian Paediatric Society, the American Academy of Pediatrics and many more organizations? Yes, if the parents decide to simply forgo the need babies have for this vitamin and the reality that, in most cases, mothers do not generate adequate vitamin D in their breast milk due to their own deficiency.

Personally I think most mothers do not even know why they are being told to give the drops to their baby and that their own vitamin D deficiency is the issue. They may wonder why their breast milk is missing it but they are told the drops are an easy way to remedy the worry. Often, since it is being recommended by a care-provider they trust they don’t think to wonder how this medication affects the baby. In truth many babies have a difficult time with the drops. Many babies find their tummies are upset, they vomit more (therefore retain less breast milk as a result) and some are generally crankier overall while taking it.

At the end of the day it is your choice as to whether or not you believe your baby needs the supplement but please, as with all parenting decisions, decide based upon what you have researched and deemed to be the best decision for your family, not just because it is what your doctor told you to do.

For another great article about this, and to read and be reminded of the benefits of sun for our bodies, check out Female Intelligence Agency’s article titled: Does Breast Milk Contain Enough Vitamin D to Prevent Deficiency in Breastfed Babies?

** in fact the CPS Position Statement -- linked to above -- does NOT suggest or recommend solely offering routine supplementation of vitamin D drops to babies but rather that mom take/get more during pregnancy and while lactating AND having baby spend regular periods of time outside as well. These other options are rarely mentioned to mom though.

Posted by Sam